“He grants the barren woman a home, like a joyful mother of children.
Praise the LORD!”  Psalm 113:9

It’s hard to believe that a whole month has gone by since my last post!  Thank you for all the wonderful congratulations.  I have wished that I could reply to each person, but my hands have literally been full most of the time, and it is hard to type one-handed.  My little baby girl will be 8 weeks old on Friday, and is already changing from being a newborn.  Oh, she still sounds like a newborn, but she is very interested in what is going on around her, and those big, beautiful smiles are something that we all work very hard to get.  ;-)

Even though she weighed 8 pounds at birth, she looked more like she weighed about 6 pounds.   (Even the medical people thought so!)  For someone who is used to 10+ pound babies, it’s been a new experience to have such a tiny one!   She had us concerned for a few weeks, as she lost about 12% of her birth weight in the first few days, and then didn’t get back up to her birth weight until she was about 5 weeks.  There were several trips to the lactation consultant and pediatrician for weight checks, but she finally did start to gain and outgrow all of those newborn clothes that had been too big on her.  She is still in newborn diapers, though – something that my other children hardly used at all!

Since my first child was on the way by the time I had been married for two months, I have never been someone who would be considered a “barren woman”.  However, the Lord HAS given me the blessing of being a “joyful mother of children”!  I was having my car inspected today and was sitting in the busy mechanics’ lobby with the baby, when a lady asked whether or not this was my first baby.  Of course, she was surprised when I replied that it was my 8th baby, but the lady sitting next to her looked at me and, almost in a hostile tone, asked, “Why?”

I have never before been asked “why” when people have found out that I have several children, so I was speechless for a moment.  Then, I simply responded that it was because I have been blessed.   And, truly, that is the way I feel.  I won’t deny that I’m not always joyful, or that there aren’t days when I wish I could put the children on the schoolbus and have a few hours of quiet.  I won’t deny that there are times when the tears are rolling down my face and I’m the one asking the Lord “why”!  However, it is much more frequent that I look around at my children and feel richly blessed.  My children really do bring me joy!

Well, my latest bundle of joy is exhibiting signs of being tired of being held by her big sister and wanting Mommy, so I will have to finish this another time.  I’ll try to make sure that it is not such a long time before I post again!

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table.”  Psalm 128:3

Part of the price that we pay for the blessing of children is the discomfort that is often a part of pregnancy.  I have spent the last 3 days in a fair amount of pain, and I know that there is more to come.  But right along side the pain, there is joy.  Just a few minutes ago, as I sat my aching body down in front of the computer, my three-year-old came to me with a hug and said, “I want to pester you.”

Did I feel “pestered”?  Not one bit!  Rather, I felt very grateful that I had a little one to hug and hold.  I felt grateful that “pester” isn’t a bad thing in our family, so that my little one felt perfectly free to come to me for some lovin’.  I felt grateful for the ability to be home with these precious children.

Along those lines, I’d like to encourage you to go read this post from a mom who has far more experience than I.  She is the mom of 14 children, with another on the way, and also a grandmother.  I found her post very encouraging today.

I’m going to get off the computer and go enjoy my children!  :-)

“Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.”  Proverbs 17:28

The Proverb chapter for today included a verse that reminded me of a humorous incident that happened several years ago.

When I first started homeschooling, I was blessed to be a part of a wonderful support group made up of Christian homeschooling moms.  We laughed together, prayed together, had park days and field trips for our children, and generally encouraged each other.  Even though I have long since moved far away from that city and have only infrequent contact with a few of those ladies, I still cherish the friendships that were established when I was a young mom of young children and sometimes overwhelmed by the responsibility of motherhood and homeschooling.

After a couple of years of being a part of this group, I was privileged to be asked to be a part of the leadership for the group.   We were having a “board meeting” one night, and plans were being discussed.  As the youngest member of the group, I was mostly sitting quietly and observing, especially since I didn’t feel that I really have anything of worth to add to what was being said.  Finally, one of the other moms turned to me and said, “What do you think?  You’re always so wise, sitting there quietly while the rest of us are all talking.”

Well, our family had just recently read the above verse, so I immediately quipped, “Even a FOOL is considered wise when he keeps his mouth shut!”

We have often repeated this incident in our family and laughed about it.  There has been more reason for repeating the antecdote than for a laugh, though.  We have tried to teach our children to not just feel that they always have to be interjecting into a conversation, but to wait until they really have something to contribute.  When we are seen as someone who always has to say something about everything, others tend to give less credence to what we have to say.  However, when we are thoughtful about what we say, people tend to listen more and give our words more weight.   I certainly wasn’t sitting in the middle of that group of ladies feeling at all wise, but my opinion was specifically sought BECAUSE I wasn’t feeling that I HAD to interject myself into the conversation.

It has often been said that we are given one mouth and two ears for a reason.  We are to listen twice as much as we speak.  How often do I instead speak twice as much as I listen?  Am I even more guilty of this when it comes to my children, or am I careful to listen to them?  Ouch.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Proverbs 15:1

As part of my scripture reading, I like to read the Proverb of the day.  (There are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs, so I read the chapter that corresponds with the day of the month.)   Today’s chapter started with a verse that I am trying very hard to implement in my life and teach to my children.

Some days it seems as if the bickering and arguing is constant.  One child makes a snide remark, the next responds in anger hurting the other’s feelings, and soon you have them seeing who can outdo each other with the loudest and most hurtful words.  If the child who was the recipient of the original remark had responded with something that had diffused the situation rather than adding fuel to the fire, there would have been a quick end to the bickering and fewer feelings hurt.

When we allow ourselves to raise our voices in anger, it very often breeds more anger.  The blood pressure goes up, our voices get louder, the anger increases, the ability to think clearly decreases, and the cycle continues.  When I was in the 7th grade, I had an English teacher who told us that she and her husband had decided early in their marriage that they would lower their voices instead of raise them if they were angry.   She said that you could tell when they were really angry because their voices were so low that you could hardly hear them.  Rather than emotionally tuning each other out, they were more likely to pay attention to what the other person was saying because they had to really listen to them.  The result was that their anger was not escalated by the sheer adrenaline produced by shouting, and they were able to work through things much more reasonably and quickly.  Their home sounded a lot more peaceful, but it truly WAS a lot more peaceful, too!

As a mom, there are MANY things throughout the day that get on my nerves, and some of those things make me angry.  Do I respond harshly, or do I try to calm the atmosphere with a soft answer?  I am afraid that I have been guilty of yelling far too many times.  I know from experience, however, that yelling lowers my clear-headedness and either induces feelings of rebellion in the child being yelled at or causes them to withdraw.  While there are times when it may be appropriate to raise my voice, more often than not it only makes matters worse.  On the other hand, if I practice lowering my voice, I am able to stay more in control of my emotions and speak more logically and KINDLY, and my words very often get through more effectively.

Now if only I could be consistent in giving soft answers, maybe my children would finally learn how to do so, too!

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

Susanna Annesley Wesley (1669-1742) was the mother of John and Charles Wesley, the founders of the Methodist Church.  Susanna was the youngest of 25 children, and grew up to give birth to 19 children of her own.  Only 10 of those children survived infancy.  Although Susanna was deeply religious, setting aside 2 hours per day for prayer and raising her children for the Lord, it was not until late in her life that she was brought to salvation through the testimony of her sons.  (John and Charles were saved while on a missionary trip to Georgia, and then their testimony brought Susanna to see that her salvation could come only through grace, not of her own works.)

Several years ago, I came across this list that Susanna Wesley supposedly used in raising her children.  While I may not agree with every single one, I think they provide a good example and definite food for thought.

Susanna Wesley’s Rules for Child-Training

1. No eating between meals.

2. All children in bed by 8:00 p.m.

3. Take your medicine without complaining.

4. Subdue self will in each child.

5. Work with God to save the soul of each child.

6. Teach each child to pray as soon as he can speak.

7. Require all to be still during family worship.

8. Give children nothing they cry for.

9. Give them only what they ask for politely.

10. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed.

11. Do not allow a sinful act to go unpunished.

12. Command and reward good behavior.

13. Preserve property rights, even in the smallest matters.

14. Strictly observe all promises.

15. Require no daughter to work before she can read well.

16. Teach children to fear the rod.