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Reliance on the Lord Category

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

He Is My Strength!

“In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.” Psalm 138:3 (KJV)

“For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy.” Colossians 1:9-11 (NKJV)

My mom left me a comment on my last entry that referenced the verse above from the Psalms. She told me that she is praying for “strength of soul” for me. Later today, a friend of mine who is going through a difficult time of a much greater magnitude than I forwarded the verse from Colossians that somebody had quoted to her. As I read the verse, I realized again how much the prayers of other people really do mean to us! When other people are lifting us up to the Lord in prayer, He is faithful to answer those prayers.

My mom said that she was not just praying for physical strength for me, but for strength of soul. I believe that was the intent meant for my friend, as well, as her difficulty is not a physical one. I was reading over the two verses together and realized that the Lord allows us to go through times when our physical strength may be lacking so that we can develop stronger souls! And even more than that, He Himself becomes our strength when we stop trying to do it all on our own. When I am honest with myself, I realize that there is no way that I can do it on my own – I crumble when I try. But when I allow Him to come alongside and be my strength, the difficulties seem to shrink. The problems may not go away, but my perspective changes and the problems don’t seem so overwhelming.

Why, oh why do I keep having to relearn this lesson? Why do I keep insisting that I need to go on in my own strength?!?

Oh, and for those who are wondering, the test results for Lyme Disease were negative. I’m praising the Lord!

Posted in Daily Life, Reliance on the Lord, The Christian Life | 6 Comments »

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Youth Renewed Like the Eagle’s

“Bless the LORD, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103:1-5

Now that my 15 year-old son is recovering from Lyme Disease, I am waiting for test results to show whether or not I also have Lyme Disease. (I had expected to know by now, but the doctors’ office lost the test results. Grr. ) If I do have it, it will be the 7th case of it in our family in the last 4 years! I started to have pain in my knees when my baby was about 6 weeks old, and that pain has now spread to most of my other joints. I feel like I would expect to feel in my 70’s, not my late 30’s. I am also dealing with extreme fatigue. If I did not have 8 children to care for, I believe that I could sleep all day, every day! It didn’t occur to me at first that it might be Lyme Disease, because I did not have the high fevers that were associated with the first 5 cases our family had. However, when I saw that my 15 year-old definitely had Lyme Disease but had not had the high fevers, I realized that I needed to get checked.

It can be discouraging to go through health problems day after day, week after week, month after month, and sometimes year after year. I am blessed in that my health problems have been relatively minor. I have not had to deal with any of the really life-changing problems that face many people. Still, there are times when I am discouraged by the fact that my health is not as good as I think it should be. ;-)

My 15 year-old and I were listening to the radio in the car together Friday evening, and we got to hear the daily broadcast from Focus on the Family. We got to hear the story of Duane Miller, who had mysteriously lost his voice and just as mysteriously regained it several years later. In fact, we listened to a recording of him teaching on the verses quoted above when his voice was restored. The recording was painful to listen to in the beginning, as it sounded as if he had a severe case of laryngitis. However, as I listened to his voice being restored, I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I encourage you to listen to the January 15th broadcast of Focus on the Family!

Duane Miller talked in the broadcast about the sovereignty of God. He talked about how he had to come to grips with trusting the Lord for his voice. The Lord, in His wisdom, allowed Duane to lose his voice and struggle without it for several years. At just the right moment for His purposes, the Lord then restored Duane’s voice. Duane has gone on to have a successful speaking ministry.

Nick Vujicic is another person who has faced tremendous obstacles in life – obstacles that would have stopped many of us. I had seen him on YouTube before, but was sent this video again today. Nick was born without limbs, but lives life to the fullest, encouraging others to do the same.

Whether I have Lyme Disease or not, whether I feel good or not, whether or not things are going the way I think they should, I can still praise the Lord. And when I praise the Lord, He will help me to get through the day in a way that glorifies Him. Regardless of how my body feels, my youth is renewed like the eagle’s when I praise the Lord!

Posted in Daily Life, Illness, Reliance on the Lord, The Christian Life | 6 Comments »

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Giving Thanks

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” I Thessalonians 5:18

Sometimes, the hardest thing in the world can be to be thankful for something. It’s easy to be thankful for the blessings we receive. It’s easy to be thankful for sunshine and good health. It’s easy to be thankful for happy marriages and beautiful, obedient children. It’s easy to be thankful for good jobs and sufficient money coming in. It’s just easy to be thankful when things are going our way.

But life isn’t always about sunshine and good health. Marriages are failing all around us and children are going their own ways. More and more people are losing their jobs and most of us are concerned about whether or not the paycheck is going to stretch until the next one comes in. How are we to be thankful during those times?

I fail in being thankful more times than not, but I am really trying to train myself to look for the good in things. And I think that it is important that my children learn to do so as well. Sometimes it is harder than others, like when I feel that I’ve been hit with one thing after another. Right now is one of those times. When it seemed as if everybody was on the mend from the H1N1 virus and we were getting back on our routine, my 15 year-old son started to get sicker and sicker until he ended up in the hospital. The baby and I spent Thanksgiving week at the hospital with him as he confounded the doctors through one test after another. Thankfully, the doctors finally diagnosed Lyme Disease and started treatment for him, and we were all able to come home. However, we came home to 2 other children being sick with a cold! That cold has now passed to my husband and to me, and I’m currently feeling quite miserable with it.

Miserable as I am, I still have much for which to be thankful. While it does seem that we’ve been hit hard with one thing after another in the last couple of months, we still have an intact family, my loving husband still has a job to go to, and the 15 year-old is getting treatment and is doing MUCH better. Furthermore, if this bug follows the same pattern in me that it has with the others, I should be a whole lot less miserable tomorrow. ;-)

Once I get started, there are a great number of things that I could list about which I am thankful. Many of those include relatively minor details that the Lord has worked out in the last few weeks. Details such as being able to stay at the hospital with my son as he went through test after test, in spite of having my 3 1/2 month-old baby with me. We live a fair distance from the hospital, and there is no way that I could have gone back and forth to care for the baby. The hospital policy during flu season states that only parents are allowed to visit the patients. The fact that the baby had already had H1N1 played a big part in an exception being made for her. The nurses even brought a crib into the room for her!

Even though our family missed celebrating our favorite holiday together, we are looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving once we are all feeling better. After all, who says that Thanksgiving can only be celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November? It would be much better if every day of the year were a day of Thanksgiving!

And after having listed just a few of the things for which I am thankful, I must say that I am feeling much better. :-)

P.S. Just after publishing this post, I went to iTunes to try to catch up on listening to some of the podcasts that I enjoy. The first one on my list was a Revive Our Hearts broadcast by Nancy Leigh Demoss titled “Abounding in Gratitude.” Talk about timing!

Posted in Daily Life, Illness, Reliance on the Lord, The Christian Life | 5 Comments »

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Swine Flu?

“The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness; You will sustain him on his sickbed.” Psalm 41:3

Our house has been more like a hospital than a home for the last week. The day after my husband left for an overseas business trip, my oldest daughter started to feel sick. One by one, each of the other children also came down with the bug. We haven’t been to the doctor, but the symptoms very closely match swine flu. (Doctors aren’t testing for it anymore, anyway – just diagnosing by symptoms.) We’ve run the gamut from fairly mild cases to delirium and difficulty breathing. On several occasions over the weekend, I thought I was going to have to take my asthmatic 13 year-old to the hospital, but calls to his pulmonolgist, a prescription for prednisone, and numerous breathing treatments allowed us to say home. I am very thankful for hospitals, but they are also a good place to pick up new bugs!

There was one night when I had beds set up in the living room for all but my oldest 2 (who were feeling better), and I dosed when I could – sitting up in my computer chair! Thankfully, I have either not gotten the bug or it has been very mild. The times when I have felt sick could easily be attributed to exhaustion, since I’ve been surviving on strong, hot coffee. And I’m even more thankful that the baby (who just turned 3 months) has not been very sick. She’s had some minor congestion and coughing, but so far no fever.

We’re not over this yet, as I still have boys who are doing more sleeping and coughing than anything else, and one is suffering from an ear infection. This bug comes in stages and has definite ups and downs. Even those who are feeling better are still weak and exhausted. To top it off, I found out that if it is H1N1, the contagious period is up to 10 days from the first symptoms. We have had to cancel a visit from DH’s 85 year-old mother this coming weekend. She hasn’t seen the children for 4 years, and hasn’t even met the youngest 2, but we certainly don’t want to expose her to the bug. And now we need to decide whether or not DH comes home tomorrow when he returns to the states. Thanks to the economy, he no longer gets sick pay, so he has no time to be sick! ;-)

Through all the concerns in caring for my children, it has been a comfort to know that the Lord has been watching over us and caring for us. During those times when I was having to make difficult decisions on the best way to care for them, I was very aware of the Lord directing me and helping me to think clearly. It was He who gave me the strength to keep going when I felt like I was going to drop, and He who has been bringing each one safely through this sickness, swine flu or not!

Posted in Children, Illness, Reliance on the Lord | 2 Comments »

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

Got Wisdom?

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel a lack of wisdom in raising my children. What works with one child doesn’t necessarily work with another, and what works one day might not work the next.

At times, I have been discouraged because it doesn’t seem that my asking for wisdom is having many results. As I was talking to my mom yesterday, however, it hit me that the Lord never promised to give it to me all at once. Duh! He will give me only what HE knows that I need for the moment, not what I think I need. If I got all of the wisdom at once, I wouldn’t need to ask for anymore. I would start relying on my own strength rather than recognizing that I need His strength.

When I look at it that way, I guess that I am glad that the Lord doesn’t give me all the wisdom I need for the rest of my life at one time. I know my tendency toward self-reliance, and it is not a good thing. I tend to mess things up in big ways when I think I can do it on my own! Needing to rely on the Lord and trust Him to give me the wisdom I need when I need it keeps me much more humble and therefore much easier to live with. ;-)

It WOULD be nice to FEEL a little wiser sometimes, but I am thankful that the Lord truly does give the wisdom He promises – in His ultimate wisdom and timing. I’ll keep asking and trust that He will provide what I need when I need it.

Posted in Mothers, Reliance on the Lord | 8 Comments »

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Unqualified

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.” Psalm 42:5

I have not felt qualified to post anything for the last several days. Who am I to think that I can offer encouragement to other moms when I can’t even get my own children to do what they are supposed to do? Who am I to think that I have anything worthwhile to say? Who am I to even think that I know anything at all about mothering?

Yes, I’ll admit to having somewhat of a pity party during the last few days. I have been discouraged at the apparent lack of growth and maturing in children who seem to have the same issues come up over and over again. Why do the same things have to be addressed time and time again as if for the first time?

Hmm. I think I see a similarity here. Does the Lord not have to address the same things over and over again in my life, too? Is the Lord ever discouraged about my lack of growth? I seem to have a problem learning the lessons that the Perfect Parent is trying to teach me, so maybe I need to not be quite so hard on my children when they don’t learn the lessons that this very imperfect mother is trying to teach them. Maybe instead of focusing on my discouragement with my children, I need to look inward to see what the Lord might be trying to teach me.

To start with, I find that I need to let go of my discouragement and put my hope in the Lord. The above verse is found three times in two chapters with almost the exact same wording. (It is also found in Psalm 42:11 and 43:5.) The Lord must have really thought it important to have included it so many times. You might think that He knew that there would be times when we would be discouraged and need to have our focus redirected to Him!

Secondly, since I believe that the Lord has put this desire to be an encouragement on my heart, I need to obey whether or not I feel qualified. Maybe it is that very lack of qualification that can be an encouragement to someone else. No one need feel that they can never measure up to me, because I certainly DON’T have it all together! I will just keep posting as the Lord gives me words, and pray that I don’t ever get to the point where I feel that I can do this without His help.

Has anyone else felt discouraged and unqualified as a mother lately? If the Lord has given you something to encourage you, please share it.

Posted in Mothers, Reliance on the Lord, The Christian Life | 13 Comments »

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

All Things Work Together for Good

“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ says the LORD.” Isaiah 55:8

Some things in life are very frustrating. A current frustration in my life has to do with a vehicle being out-of-commission. My husband’s pickup has come up with an unidentified electrical problem. He thought that it had to do with the alternator, but replacing it didn’t fix the problem. Now it is in the shop, and all that has been verified is that the problem is not with the alternator!

Because my husband needed my vehicle to make his 120 mile (round trip) commute to work, I was without a vehicle for three days last week. Of course, I didn’t have a chance to plan ahead for those days. ;-) Then, we thought the problem was fixed over the weekend, so DH took his own vehicle to work on Monday. He didn’t make it all the way to work before he had to call me to go rescue him. Another fix was tried (in a grocery store parking lot!) and didn’t work. We were able to jump-start his car so that I could follow him to the mechanic and then take him the rest of the way to work. I then had a few hours to drive many miles to run the most important errands before going back to pick him up. Now here it is Wednesday evening, the mechanic has let him know that they haven’t yet found the problem, and I am still without a vehicle.

Another frustration has to do with homeschooling. We use the BJU Press Distance Learning curriculum, and we are currently in the last year of receiving the video lessons via satellite. I record all of the lessons so that we can reuse them for younger children. Well, we had several days of high wind that blew our satellite dish out of alignment, so I’ve had several days of not getting the classes. While I can get them from friends or pay to get replacement recordings, it’s a royal pain and the cost adds up. Last night DH and some of the boys got up on the roof in the dark to try to fix the problem, and just ran into one problem after another. DH won’t be able to get back to it again until tomorrow, so we’re just missing more and more classes.

Humanly speaking, it would be very easy for these things to stress me out. However, I am learning that the Lord has reasons for things that I cannot see. Rather than stress about these frustrations, I am choosing to relax and know that the Lord is in control.

When I step back and look at the big picture, I recognize that these are really very minor things. There are much more important things to be concerned about, and my life is really rather easy in comparison with that of many other people. How easy it is to get caught up in the frustrations of the little things and let them cause us stress! It is much better to sit back and realize that “ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

Posted in Daily Life, Reliance on the Lord | 4 Comments »

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

His plans, or mine?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

13 years ago today, I became a mother for the 4th time. My older children were 5, 3, and 1, and I had been feeling very overwhelmed. My 3 year-old was especially a challenge – I had never imagined that a little one could be so creative in finding ways to get into trouble! Throughout my pregnancy, I had been telling the Lord that He had given me more than I could handle.

I still don’t really understand it, but somehow, that 4th child made life easier from the day he was born. It did help that he was the first child that didn’t have to go back to the hospital to spend time in NICU! But whatever the reasons, I found myself more relaxed, I laughed more, and I handled motherhood more easily. Don’t get me wrong – I still had lots of days when I felt overwhelmed, but those days were fewer than before #4 was born.

How many times have I gone back to the lesson that the Lord taught me with that 4th child! I realized that, rather than giving me more than I could handle, the Lord had given me exactly what I needed. He saw the big picture, not just the little part that I could see. Where I was overwhelmed and wondered how I could possibly handle another baby, the Lord knew that I NEEDED that baby. He knew that what I thought would certainly add to my burden would actually lighten that burden. It STILL doesn’t make sense to me, but I’m glad that I didn’t insist on having my own way!

Corrie ten Boom used to give the analogy of watching someone making a tapestry – from beneath the cloth. What looked like tangled threads and splotchy colors was a beautiful picture when viewed from the top. The tangled threads that I see in my life don’t look much like a work of beauty to me, but the Lord is expertly crafting something of His design. I can’t wait to get to the other side that so I can see the finished work! :-)

In the meantime, 13 years after learning a little more about trusting the Lord, I am still very thankful for my 4th child. And, yes, those who know him would not be surprised to hear that he still makes my life easier in many ways. Happy Birthday, Son!

Posted in Mothers, Reliance on the Lord | 2 Comments »

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

Where do I go to resign?

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6

Have you ever had one of those days when you felt like a complete failure? A day when the kids aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing, the house is a disaster, and the whining, bickering, and fighting seem unending?

This morning, I was having one of those days. I locked myself into my room to have a pity party. (I knew that I would be interrupted by a little one wanting to give me a hug or something if I hadn’t locked the door!) As tears of frustration rolled down my cheeks, I wondered why the Lord thought that I should be entrusted with another baby when I couldn’t even do a good job with the children I already had. Poor me. I just wanted to walk out the door and escape, because it was obvious that I couldn’t do what was expected of me.

Then, out of the blue, a tune started running through my head, and I was hearing the words to an old Steve Green song. ”He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it…”

Okay, so I’m not anywhere near the mother I want to be and my children haven’t come close to achieving the perfection that I want for them. The truth is that it isn’t MY work being done. The Lord is performing a work in me and in my children. He began the work in us, and has promised to complete it. He didn’t give a time frame for completing it, and I can’t give up in discouragement when it isn’t completed overnight or even over a period of 18 years.

It seems that there are far too many lessons that have to be repeated in my life over and over again, but that is not the fault of the One doing the work. That fault lies squarely with me. I get frustrated at times when it seems that one of my children is being thickheaded about learning something that I am trying to teach them, but I am thickheaded far to often when the Lord is trying to teach me something, too. The Lord hasn’t given up on me, but has promised to complete the work. Likewise, I should continue in patience as I seek to teach my children.

After a few minutes of reflection, I unlocked my door and called all of the children together. I asked them if they ever felt like failures, and admitted my shortcomings to them. I then shared the above verse with them, asked for their forgiveness for my failures with them, and encouraged them to remember that the Lord is also doing a work in each of them.

No, the rest of the day hasn’t been all roses. However, there has been a sense of hope, and things are much more in order than they were earlier!

Posted in Mothers, Reliance on the Lord, The Christian Life | 4 Comments »

Friday, March 13th, 2009

Who is running things here?

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Galations 2:20

I was listening to my favorite Southern Gospel radio station in the car today, when I heard a new song that really got me to thinking.

I Quit
I’ve tried and tried and I can’t try again
To make it on my own, so why pretend?
My best laid plans slipped through my hands
And crashed upon the floor.
Now I’m just too tired to fight it anymore.

I quit, I give up, I give everything to you, Lord.
Take my heart and do what You and You alone can do.
I’m ready to surrender and I’m willing to admit
I cannot begin again until I quit.

For me to truly live, I first must die
And know that I am crucified with Christ.
Then live each day by simple faith
In the power of the cross
And count my every earthly gain but loss.

I quit, I give up, I give everything to You, Lord.
Take my heart and do what You and You alone can do.
I’m ready to surrender and I’m willing to admit
I cannot begin again until I quit.

I cannot begin again until I quit.

Then there was another song I heard that seemed to go along with it. I can’t find all of the lyrics right now, but the chorus says

“Change me, Lord, I’m tired of who I am,
All my strength is gone, I need Yours to help me stand,
I don’t want to give my life to You, then take it back again,
I just want to be like you, so change me, Lord.”

I need to think along these lines more often, rather than my usual self-reliance! Even though it is Christ living in me, I tend to run the show far too often.

Posted in Reliance on the Lord | No Comments »

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